CYANORING 4

CYANORING 4

By Forrest Wayne Schultz

 

Katie Is Missing !!

I had just finished breakfast when I felt that special tingling in the ring finger of my right hand: a Cyanoring News Special Report was about to arrive. The report was delivered rapidly: "Katie Coolidge is missing! Your mission -- should you accept it – is to find Katie utilizing the following resources." I was then instructed to look out the window and note the two BMWs entering my long driveway. In the first of these was a lawyer who would show me all the pertinent legal and financial documents and who would refer me to a private investigator whom I would place in charge of the quest for Katie.

This indeed is what happened, and it also took place very quickly because of the urgency of the mission. The documents were short and easy to understand. As I signed them I was overwhelmed at being given this responsibility and at the huge payment I received to do it, part of which was the second BMW! The PI whom the lawyer recommended was Emily H., a young lady who was especially skilled in locating missing women. I accepted the recommendation of the lawyer, who via a phone call made the arrangements for us to travel to her house at once, where the lawyer quickly introduced me to Emily and then departed. As soon as we were seated in her living room, I asked her:

"Emily, will you accept this commission to find Katie?"

"Do you want me to!?"

"Yes! Very much so! Please!"

"Alright. I will do it. Let's sign those papers so I can get started."

Kara's Triumph

Kara barely made it back to her house in time to clean, disinfect, and bandage her painful leg wound before she collapsed. Well, it was worth it! Her op had succeeded in wiping out the entire "bad guys" gang. Or so she thought.

 

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Roach's Plan For Revenge

She did not know that the gang had a secret leader – Roach – who later reviewed the disastrous results on the recording device in the secret room in his secret house. There are no words adequate to convey how outraged he was!! The only good thing about it for him is that he now had a good photograph of his nemesis. Perhaps he could use it to identify her. But first he needed to calm down, so he decided on a stroll in the park.

He no sooner had entered the park when he saw her – very clearly – exiting the park. She was now dressed in very stylish clothing – not her military duds – but there was no mistaking the fact that it was her! He watched her get into her, and noted the make, model, and license no. as she drove off and headed toward the driveway into the Monroe Mansion, where she parked. AHA !! He had read the article in the local hicktown newspaper about a researcher who had recently moved into the mansion to do historical studies. That must be her "cover". Very clever!

Well, he would show her "clever"! As soon as he returned to his lair, he contacted The Hit Men Triad to terminate her. They were the best of the best and had a perfect record, and. amazingly, they actually worked as a team, which was rare among professional assassins, who almost always worked alone. But, to be absolutely sure everything went right, he arranged for them to drive to the Mansion in his car with them as passengers, to which they agreed immediately, which was not surprising considering that this was the largest fee ever for one of their hits.

The Ring Reacts

For reasons I do not understand, the Ring could NOT learn Katie's location – only the fact that her life was threatened by the wicked foursome heading down the mountain road. Following my approval, the Ring sent forth power and slew all four and the car careened off the road and fell into that famous dee-eee-eep river that loves to entomb nefarious criminals. After witnessing this I contacted Emily.

Emily Responds; Meets Kara

Using the famous alternating bad-news/good-news sequence, I told Emily that Katie was threatened with assassination BUT the assassins were killed BUT we did not know where she was BUT we knew the direction in which the assassins were heading. Because this direction was toward the Park, Emily decided to start there by getting everyone in the park to look at her photo of Katie to see if anyone had seen her around.

 

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As soon as she entered the Park, she saw Katie – or so she thought! It was Kara, not Katie. When Emily approached Kara and asked if she was Katie Coolidge, she replied "No", but said that the local paper had reported her living in the Monroe Mansion. She was astonished when she looked at the photograph: "Good Lord; she looks exactly like me!! Maybe she is my identical twin. Sometimes I felt like I might have one. May I accompany you to the Mansion?". Emily replied, "Yes" but requested that Kara remain in the car until she met Katie and told her about Kara. Kara agreed and they drove off to the Mansion.

Emily and Kara Meet Katie

Emily got right to the point when Katie answered her knock on the door.

"Are you Katie Coolidge?"

"I am"

"My name is Emily and I am a private investigator. Katie, your family and friends are concerned about you and have hired me to find you. Are you here under duress?"

"Goodness, No! I told no one where I was going because I need to devote, without interruptions, my full efforts to this historical research, which needs to be completed in time for the town's bicentennial celebration"

"Now, another question, Katie – Are you an identical twin?"

"Whew! Not that I know of, but I have wondered about this because sometimes I feel that I may have an identical twin."

"Katie, I believe your identical twin is out there in my car. Would you like to meet her?"

"What??!! You are serious!! I can't believe this!! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bring her in!"

It would take a very good writer to describe the meeting of Katie and Kara – I shall make no attempt to do so because no words of mine could do it justice.

The upshot was that Kara decided to help Katie, and that, Emily and I worked out a plan to insure their safety, which was a good thing, because shortly after this a wicked powerful individual began planning to kill Katie when it became clear that her research would uncover something he was determined to keep secret.

 

 

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Kara Meets Sam

The union of the twins resulted in a heightening of their sensitivities to the rightness and wrongness of things. They both sensed a great danger at the next historic site where Katie was scheduled to go. From a careful study of the information about this site and its environs, Kara was able to determine how their foe would proceed. She simply asked herself what she would do if she intended to abduct someone from this site. Then she developed a counter-plan and gathered the tools needed to effect it.

On the scheduled day Katie remained in the Mansion. Kara went to the site in her place, put the counter-plan into action and captured the foe, a man named Sam, who was thoroughly astonished – he was a former Navy SEAL, who had never before been thwarted in his ops. He also was amazed at the goodness he saw in his captor, which was totally at odds with what his brother Mal had told him to expect. Mal was dead wrong about this woman! And he now believed that Mal was not deceived but rather was the wicked party here: Mal had deceived him! He was even more embarrassed now at his being "used" by Mal than he was at being captured by the woman. Speaking of which, he was now being captivated by the woman in another way – she was a real prize!!

Mal Calls In Ponera

In the meantime Mal, pondering his doubts about Sam, had them confirmed through a diabolic magic art he had just performed. And in the super-art he was now perfomring he called to his aid the most diabolic of all persons he knew: Ponera, archpriestess of evil, whose very name in Greek means "evil". And now that the two of them were enroute to the site, he became thoroughly enraged at his brother: his scrying had revealed the alliance Sam had just made with the woman he was supposed to abduct!

As Ponera was preparing to unleash her dark lightning against the two of them, the Cyanoring spoke to me: "Well, I guess you know what I am about to ask!" I replied, "Yes, Zap them now, please!". I witnessed the greatest zapping ever performed by the Cyanoring: Mal and Ponera were engulfed in a sphere of ultra-hot flame as they fell ultra-rapidly into the ultra-deep river which was ultra-delighted at the opportunity to entomb the ultra-wicked duo.

It was fun contacting Emily and reporting to her this great victory as well as they other great victory – Kara had not only martially captured her foe; even more importantly she had converted him from the dark side and was now captivating him with her magnetic personality.

-4-

 

 

Sam And Kara: Present Tasks & Future Plans

Sam and Kara were so smitten with each other it was difficult for them to separate in order for each one of them to take care of his responsibilities. They finally did so and agreed to get together tomorrow night to plan their future.

Right after Sam had returned to his ancestral home and destroyed Mal's magical paraphernalia, he received a call from the Sheriff's Office saying that Mal had drowned in the____ River. Sam spent the rest of the day and the following day taking care of all the legal, financial, and other practical matters involved in transferring the estate into his name.

Kara, following Katie's instructions, used the special camera to photograph the arcane inscriptions on the Monolith. She headed back to the Mansion as dusk approached.

That evening Kara, Katie, Emily, and I had a thorough discussion of what had just happened and concluded that we should let Sam in on the secret. So, when Sam came to the Mansion on the following evening, we revealed to him that Katie and Kara were identical twins. He was astonished but pleased and later that evening "popped the question". He and Kara were married shortly afterward by a justice of the peace; the rest of us were witnesses. Sam and Kara then both pledged that they would work with the rest of us to assist and protect Katie.

A Strange Message Comes To Light

While Kara was moving her belongings out of her rental house and traveling to join Sam at his house, Sam discovered a very strange message which had been written by his ancestor all the way back in 1812, two hundred years ago! This message was placed into a golden box with instructions that it was not to be opened until Christmas Day (December 25) 2011 by his descendant then owning the estate, which, of course, was Mal. This message reads verbatim:

"Behold! Two centuries hence, in the Year Of Our Lord 2012, great danger shall confront you, my descendant, from the monumental discoveries which shall be made by a female scholar who is the descendant of a U.S. Vice-President who shall become President while he is making hay with his father on his farm in New England."

The following day Mal visited his friend Bill who was a Presidents buff – this guy knew everything about all our Presidents. When he asked Bill who was the Vice-President who became President while making hay with his father, he immediately replied "Calvin Coolidge". Mal almost passed out with fright. For that very day he read in the hicktown newspaper that a scholar named Katie Coolidge was soon to move into the Mansion to do historical research. His resulting panic led him to seek out assistance from the dark side which led to the disastrous results noted above.

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Katie Deciphers The Monolithic Inscription ……..

On the same day (February 1, 2012) when Sam discovered this 200 year old message, Katie deciphered the monolithic inscription, which was precisely 100 years old. It reads as follows:

"BEHOLD! On this day, February 1, 1912, I do see thee, O Katie Coolidge. On February 1, 2012 thou art deciphering this message in which I lay upon thee a great burden. Know thou that the brother-in-law you acquired yesterday, Sam Jefferson, is descended from Klepto Jefferson, who in January 1912 did swindle John Harrison out of some very precious land, to wit his beloved 100 acre wood. Thou are to solemnly charge Sam Jefferson that before one month elapses, i.e. prior to March 1, 2012, he must return this 100 acre wood to the Harrison estate, i.e. to John Harrison's descendant, Richard Jefferson. Katie, you and Sam will both be blessed if this is done; and cursed if this is not done!! I, Enoch, have spoken."

……. And Sam Responds With Alacrity

When Katie informed Sam, he responded with alacrity. He contacted his lawyer, who found the 100 acre transfer from the Harrison to the Jefferson estate. Sam told the lawyer to prepare immediately the necessary legal documents to transfer the title for the 100 acre wood back to the Harrison estate, now owned by Richard Jefferson.

This obedience to the prophecy was indeed a great blessing not only to Sam -- who gained a clear conscience – but also to Katie who fell madly in love with Richard Jefferson. They will be married soon, which will fulfill her desire for a husband, AND Richard will be helping her in her research and he is an even better scholar than Katie is! His help will be needed for them to complete the research in time for the bicentennial.

K – K – K – Katie

When Richard Jefferson was a boy, his favorite song was "K-K-K-Katie, K-K-K-Katie, you're the only g-g-g-girl that I adore." Indeed he wished he could find a Katie, but he was a nerd and thus too shy to look. When Katie came with Sam announcing the return of the 100 acre wood, he was far more excited about her than the wood. And, as the saying goes, the rest is history. By the way, they plan to name their first child, Christopher Robin!

 

March 1, 2012

 

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CYANORING 3

CYANORING 3

By Forrest Wayne Schultz

For every step she climbed Princess Akivasha became ever more enraged at those Bama bunglers for their egregious failure to dispose of this plebeian girl now nearing the apex of this hill here in the boondocks of north Jawjuh. Hah! She would soon show this Laithie what a Jaw was – the VAMPIRE Jaw!!

The only problem – and it was worsening more and more lately – was that every time Akivasha gloated over the failure of others, she was tormented by the vivid remembrance of her own abysmal failure to seduce Conan. That Barbarian was able to perceive that her great beauty was not natural but the result of her trafficking with dark forces.

In her extreme self-centeredness she was unaware of the even greater pain in the hearts of her two cohorts – Eric and Thor – the Norsemen who will be able to positively identify the Vinland Monolith and to translate the runic inscriptions on it carved by Leif Ericson a millennium ago. Their torment was so great because this mission brought back memories of their erswhile great friendship with Leif The Blessed, which was destroyed by their foolish and malicious embrace of the darkness.

They caught up with Laithie as she rounded the last bend and then – they beheld it – The Runes Of Leif!! The experience was so overwhelming that they cried out in repentance to God, Who magnanimously granted them forgiveness and new hearts and new bodies from which all vampiric degeneration was expunged, thereby restoring them to full humanness!! Now they no longer needed nor desired the Satanic protection from the Sun; instead, they now gloried in its splendid light and basked in its warmth as they overflowed with gratitude to God, Whom they thanked profusely for restoring their humanity and thereby re-establishing their friendship with Leif The Highly Favored.

Akivasha was so astonished at beholding this miraculous transformation that it took her several minutes to become enraged at it. And to Laithie's plea to her that she also repent, she emphatically and demonically replied "NEVER!!!!!", whereupon God's instrument The Cyanoring stripped her of her demonic powers, slew her, and cast her body off of the cliff and into the super-deep river below, which loves to entomb the ultra-wicked.

Laithie then said Good Bye to Eric and Thor and returned to her fellowship across the border in Alabama.

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Eric and Thor spent the rest of the day translating Leif's message and planning how to spread it to America and praying for God's help, guidance, and protection. Stressed in the message are the Scriptures which deal with God's ability to deliver men from the most wretched of bondages, such as vampirism and other demonic traps, and from self-centeredness into a joyous life of service to others. Leif himself set a great example of this in his own life. Unlike Columbus, he treated his sailors right so that hundreds of years later men would exclaim with pride and joy how their ancestors had sailed with Leif Ericson. Columbus treated his sailors so abominably they came close to mutiny. Columbus also – and this now finally is becoming known – mistreated the "Indians", thereby setting the example followed by many other European colonists of the Americas. And, unlike the notion being proclaimed by some well-meaning Christians, Columbus did not proclaim the Biblical Gospel but the gross perversion of it common in his time, which involved a coercive imposition of a State and Church tyranny. In contrast, Leif Ericson in his Vinland colony treated the skraelings with dignity and there was a good relationship with them until it was ruined by Leif's wicked sister who came there acting like a tyrannical queen, which destroyed Vinland.

This contrast of Leif's godliness with Columbus's wickedness will be the heart of the message Eric and Thor will proclaim. They will exhort Americans to follow Leif's example and repudiate Columbus's example. To this end they will lobby for the end of Columbus Day and its replacement by Leif Ericson Day!! Yesssss!!! The reason being that Leif's godliness and humility is what pleases God and is a blessing to man. Columbus was arrogant not only as captain of his ship but in insisting in being addressed by his ridiculous title Admiral of The Ocean Sea!! Columbus was inhuman, an unman, as C. S. Lewis put it. By contrast, Leif is The Man!!

October 14, 2011

NOTES

The vampirology in this story – vampires can be converted – I learned from Ellen Maze in her novel Rabbit: Chasing Beth Rider.

I learned of the Conan/Akivasha story from the essay "Robert E. Howard: Twentieth Century Mythmaker" by Charles Hoffman.

I learned the facts in the Leif/Columbus contrast from sources too numerous to list here. The Vinland Monolith in North GA mountains, though, is fiction. I placed it at the western end of north GA to contrast it with the Humanist notions in the Elberton Guidestones, at the eastern end of north GA

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My Dog Spike

My Dog Spike

By Forrest W. Schultz

 

I got the idea of writing "my Dog Spike" from a book with a similar title I just finished reading: My Dog Skip by Willie Morris. But there the similarity ends. For one thing, my father's farm and our Pennsylvania Dutch community were very different – both sociologically and geographically – from the area in Mississippi where Morris spent his boyhood.

More importantly, Spike was a very different kind of dog from Skip. Spike could not perform any great feats, such as playing football or rescuing me from danger. But he excelled any other dog I have ever known or heard of in his friendliness. Spike was such a beloved dog because he was so friendly. I also liked him because he enjoyed taking long walks with me.

Now this brings up one thing I did not like about him – his penchant for running away, which necessitated our keeping him on a leash. Although we tried to be careful, every now and then Spike would get loose and run away. One time he was gone for so long that we thought we would never see him again. Then one day he turned up on the school playground during recess. My fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Rapp, was very strict but she knew when exceptions were in order: she allowed me to bring Spike into the classroom and I was permitted to use the school telephone to call my mother to come and get him.

My sisters also loved Spike. The best photograph ever taken of him was with my sister Janet.

When I went away to college in Philly, the crowded urban environment there gave me a sort of "claustrophobia" so that after five days I was about at my limit, and so I returned home each weekend of my freshman year. And the first thing I did then was to run in blessed relief through the pastures with my dog Spike.

Morris lacked one great experience with his dog that I had with mine. He was away in England when his dog Skip died. I happened to be back home when my dog Spike died. By then he was very old and spent almost all of his time lying down in the house. I happened to be sitting in a chair near him when he breathed his last. I took him out into the yard and buried him. I was 23 when he died and had had him since I was 9, when he was a puppy. So he had lived the equivalent of about a hundred years for a man.

My mother got other dogs but they were just dogs – none was memorable, as Spike was.

 

AVENGERS: OLD AND NEW

Avengers --  Old and  New

By Forrest W. Schultz

 
 

     Around here we take care of each other.  As the closest male relative of my widowed aunt, I am her designated avenger, the one commissioned to execute the man who raped her last night.  This man – if "man" he can be called – lives in a different kind of rural "community" – one where the Sheriff knows of the rapes committed by this "man" and his brother, but does nothing about them.

     After I arrived at the summit of a high hill about a mile from the brothers' farmhouse at about 10 AM, I set up my high powered telescope to conduct a visual surveillance.  I was not surprised when I saw no one or any sign of activity, because the brothers are not expected to return until shortly after twelve noon.  It is Wednesday, and the town (where their auto repair business is located) is still following the traditional rural Southern practice of closing businesses on Wednesday afternoons.

     I was surprised to see a wrecker truck pull into the driveway at 10:29 AM – why had they come home so early?  But, then I looked closely and realized that this was not the wrecker owned by the brothers' business.  Several minutes after it disappeared from view behind the barn, I saw a young woman cautiously walk out of a door in the front of the barn and make her way toward a small building in between the barn and the house.  She entered this building and positioned herself at a window facing the carport at the side of the house.

     An excellent plan!  If the brothers parked in the carport, this would give the woman a direct shot into the side window of their truck.  Indeed, this is precisely what happened!

     As soon as their pickup truck pulled in and came to a stop, the woman shot and killed both with what appeared to be some kind of laser weapon.  She then ran to the back of the barn, drove her wrecker to the carport, and pulled the pickup truck up onto its bed, and drove out the back driveway for a short distance, then over an abandoned road to an abandoned quarry.  She backed the wrecker up to the edge, and then dropped the pickup truck with its executed rapist occupants down into the quarry where it landed in a lake and rapidly plunged into its depths.

     I guess I just saw a new style of avenger, i.e. one of today's tough new women.  On second thought, tough women are not so new.  Some of those old Mountain Mommas were pretty tough!!

February 21, 2011

THE CYANOROD

THE CYANOROD

By Forrest Wayne Schultz

This morning I received a call from a lawyer informing me that I was the heir of Mr. Sam Jones, a man I had never heard of, who had lived near Jonesville, a town I had never heard of. The estate consists of a beautiful historic country house and (the 100 acres of woodland in which it is nestled) plus a hefty stock portfolio plus a brand new BMW!

The will contains no explanation as to why I am the designated heir nor does the lawyer have any idea. After I signed the pertinent documents transferring the estate into my name, I got into my brand new BMW to head out to my country estate where I was greeted by John and Joan Trimble, the couple who does the housekeeping and building & grounds work.

I was favorably impressed with the Trimbles, especially concerning the excellent job they have been doing keeping everything in tip top shape. But they were unable to give me any idea of why Sam Jones had named me as his heir. Since almost all of their work is routine, their contact with Jones had been minimal, so that they never got to know him very well. All they could tell me was that he had been a recluse and that every day he took a long walk in the woods and spent the rest of the day holed up in his study with its large library of old books.

Of all the places on the estate to look for the answer to my question it appeared that the study was the most promising. Its book case contained the books he had been reading, the desk contained his files, and the computer on his desk may hold some secrets, though he did not use it much.

While trying to decide where to start my investigations, I noticed hanging on the wall an exquisite painting of an unusual medallion: its center depicted (clad in shiny silver armor and ready for battle) a valiant knight whose right hand (fisted and placed upon his heart as a sign of submission to his king) held a very small brilliant bluish-green rod, which was the focal point of the painting. Since the knight was grasping this cyanorod as as thought it were his sword, it appeared that he was about to wield it as his weapon. As I was pondering this anomaly, the painting changed into a three-dimensional holographic projection with the Cyanorod extended in my direction beckoning me to pick it up and wrap the palm of my right hand around it.

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As soon as I palmed the Cyanorod I was transported into another world in a manner that was no different than walking out of one room and into another. There was absolutely no sound at all, no flashing lights, no shimmering air, no "woo woo" music in the background or any of the other phenomena associated with such a thing in the popular fantasy literature and films. The mage who did this – if mage it was – is clearly a very sophisticated one, not like the childish ones who add in all the extraneous stuff!

Upon my arrival in this new world I was told to insert the tip of the Cyanorod into a small recess in the center of a circle on the wall in front of me and to hold it there until it popped out, which took exactly 1.618 seconds. I then palmed the Cyanorod, was told "well done", and was returned to the study, whereupon I re-inserted the Cyanorod into the hologram, which then collapsed back into the painting on the wall.

I was not told why this happened or what the Cyanorod did. Maybe I saved a planet or a galaxy or an alternate universe or something. Who knows? But I DO know that I did the right thing, and that is what is really important.

October 10, 2010

Grantville, Georgia

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WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE CLINT EASTWOOD -- FOR A FEW MINUTES??

Would You Like To Be Clint Eastwood -- For A Few Minutes??

By Forrest Wayne Schultz

After introducing himself to me, the lawyer asked me this question. He was very serious. It turns out that I have an identical twin brother who had just died and made me his heir. And he liked to dress like Clint Eastwood and act like Clint Eastwood and his nickname was Clint. This became very clear when the lawyer showed me around his, now my, house, which was full of photographs of him dressed like Clint did in his Western films. And now, according to his will, the lawyer said, I needed to remove my clothes now and don my twin's Clint Eastwood clothes and submit to the ministrations of his hair stylist. This sounds very exciting, especially to a semi-nerd like me! In a few minutes I look exactly like my twin did in his Eastwood persona. And then – whew! – I feel my twin's spirit inside of me influencing my attitude, so that I actually want to look like Clint and act like Clint and am raring to go!!

The lawyer and the stylist were very pleased as they hurried me from the house and into my twin's tough-guy ATV, a macho man's jeep, which I then drive with great excitement following the lawyer at a rapid gait through the countryside arriving just in time to rescue Laura from three very bad men, who had just murdered my twin a few hours ago.

I made a very dramatic entrance into the yard in front of the house of the bad guys, squealing the tires and doing a "doughnut" and then screeching to a sudden stop and exiting from the jeep in Clint Eastwood style. There was one slight difference, which I noticed as I closed the car door and saw in my reflection in the mirror that my hat, face, shirt, pants, and cowboy boots were shining very brightly, which explained the horror on the faces of the bad guys who stood terrified on the porch of the house with Laura.

I said not a word. I pointed to Laura, who thereupon left the porch and ran over to me. I pointed to the ATV, and she got in. I pointed to the lawyer, who also is a justice of the peace. He walked over to the bad guys and presented them with a court order requiring them to leave the county immediately. They were so scared that they hurried into their truck and drove away pronto.

As I got into the ATV, my twin left me and the aura about me disappeared. Laura said to me: "You're not Clint! And why did you let those bad guys get away. You should have killed them!"

-1-

"You are right. I am not Clint. I am his twin. Look through the windshield now and you will see Clint ready to answer you."

"Hello, Laura! I am not finished with this yet. I am about to leave you. In my place you shall see what looks like a TV screen. It will show you the fate of the bad guys. But much more importantly, Laura, after you see me deal with them, I shall ascend to my home in Heaven prepared for me by God. Please think about that. I want you to join me there when you die. You know what you have to do. Remember what I told you. Good-bye!"

Clint left and in his place appeared a picture of the bad guys in their truck driving rapidly down a country road heading toward the county line. Clint appears on the road in front of them. The driver panics, loses control of the truck, which veers off the road, rolls down an embankment, and splashes into the river below, killing all three men. Clint waves goodbye and ascends to Heaven.

"Are you satisfied now, Laura?"

"Yes".

"OK, let me take you home now. And I hope you will do what Clint asked you to do!"

September 10, 2010

Grantville, Georgia

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A POSTMORTEM APOLOGY BY PROXY

A POST-MORTEM APOLOGY – BY PROXY

By Forrest Wayne Schultz

When I went to check in to the bed&breakfast inn, the proprietor informed me that my room had been paid for by another party. AND that the same party had also given me the brand new BMW parked out in the lot! After I examined the title and insurance documents, which confirmed what the proprietor had said, she handed me an envelope containing a letter from an attorney informing me that I had an appointment with him at 10 AM the following morning, at which time the source of this largesse would be revealed. Because I was extremely tired, I decided to go to bed at once and postpone any thought about this matter until tomorrow.

After a long and much needed sleep, I awoke refreshed just in time for breakfast and my trip to the attorney’s office through the beautiful spring countryside in my brand new BMW. I arrived right on time and was immediately greeted by the attorney himself and ushered in to his office. His law firm is a one-man operation, which is adequate for the legal needs of this sparsely populated rural area.

Because he sensed my intense curiosity, he got right down to business by informing me that I had an identical twin brother who had just died. I was not his “heir” in the usual sense of the word, because long ago he had made me the co-owner of all his property, so that upon his decease I automatically became the sole owner. The only thing remaining to be done was affixing my signature to the various pertinent documents. The “estate” was also quite simple: several hundred acres of farmland leased to a horse breeder plus money in a stock fund plus a bank account.

There was, though, one complicated matter involved: a letter written to me by my twin requesting, but not requiring, me to do something for him. He had deeply offended a woman and he had written a letter of apology to her but had been unable to muster up the courage to take it to her or even to mail it to her! He had placed the lawyer under obligation to arrange for the letter’s delivery to the woman after his decease. My twin’s letter to me said that he would prefer that I take his letter of apology to the woman on his behalf as his twin brother and acting as his proxy. But I was not legally bound to do this. He did request that if I agreed to do this for him, that I do so very seriously and with a willingness to beseech the woman to forgive him. He warned me that this would not be easy because this lady was a very strong person, a “power” woman, who would not permit a man to push her around. In short, this would be a difficult task for me.

-1-

I knew that this was something I ought to do for my twin. After asking the lawyer a few questions, I agreed to do it, provided that he call the woman on the phone and inform her of the matter and request to see her and introduce me to her. The lawyer agreed to do so and immediately went to the phone to call her. The woman was suspicious at first and asked the lawyer a lot of questions. She finally acceded to his request, mainly, I suppose, because this lawyer was very highly respected around here and is scrupulously honest in both his legal and personal dealings. The woman agreed to see me at once. In a few minutes we drove over to her house, the lawyer introduced me to her, and then left me with her.

She appeared to be satisfied with the honesty of the intentions both of my twin and of the lawyer. Now she asked me about mine. I confessed to her that I had a dual motivation. I felt that since my brother had been so generous in bestowing upon me all his property, that I ought to do this favor for him. And, I looked forward to meeting a “power” woman! I told her I was a semi-nerd, not a macho man like my twin, so I had no hopes on my own of getting such an opportunity to converse with a power woman like her. She smiled and said I was stronger than I supposed. As the repartee continued I was absolutely astonished to see her becoming ever more enamored with me, until she finally said that she would like to have me but she would NOT forgive my twin because what he had done to her was unforgivable.

Thereupon I scowled, stood up, and emphatically proclaimed to her: “If you refuse to forgive my twin, I am walking out of here and you will never see me again!”. As I headed for the door, she entreated me not to leave her, and said she would forgive my twin. After thoroughly interrogating her to be sure she meant it, and getting her to put her forgiveness in writing, I agreed to marry her.

We lived mostly – but not always – happily ever after, and our main secret was that of forgiving one another our trespasses against one another!

-2-

Grantville, GA
August 2010