Would You Like To Be Clint Eastwood -- For A Few Minutes??
By Forrest Wayne Schultz
After introducing himself to me, the lawyer asked me this question. He was very serious. It turns out that I have an identical twin brother who had just died and made me his heir. And he liked to dress like Clint Eastwood and act like Clint Eastwood and his nickname was Clint. This became very clear when the lawyer showed me around his, now my, house, which was full of photographs of him dressed like Clint did in his Western films. And now, according to his will, the lawyer said, I needed to remove my clothes now and don my twin's Clint Eastwood clothes and submit to the ministrations of his hair stylist. This sounds very exciting, especially to a semi-nerd like me! In a few minutes I look exactly like my twin did in his Eastwood persona. And then – whew! – I feel my twin's spirit inside of me influencing my attitude, so that I actually want to look like Clint and act like Clint and am raring to go!!
The lawyer and the stylist were very pleased as they hurried me from the house and into my twin's tough-guy ATV, a macho man's jeep, which I then drive with great excitement following the lawyer at a rapid gait through the countryside arriving just in time to rescue Laura from three very bad men, who had just murdered my twin a few hours ago.
I made a very dramatic entrance into the yard in front of the house of the bad guys, squealing the tires and doing a "doughnut" and then screeching to a sudden stop and exiting from the jeep in Clint Eastwood style. There was one slight difference, which I noticed as I closed the car door and saw in my reflection in the mirror that my hat, face, shirt, pants, and cowboy boots were shining very brightly, which explained the horror on the faces of the bad guys who stood terrified on the porch of the house with Laura.
I said not a word. I pointed to Laura, who thereupon left the porch and ran over to me. I pointed to the ATV, and she got in. I pointed to the lawyer, who also is a justice of the peace. He walked over to the bad guys and presented them with a court order requiring them to leave the county immediately. They were so scared that they hurried into their truck and drove away pronto.
As I got into the ATV, my twin left me and the aura about me disappeared. Laura said to me: "You're not Clint! And why did you let those bad guys get away. You should have killed them!"
"You are right. I am not Clint. I am his twin. Look through the windshield now and you will see Clint ready to answer you."
"Hello, Laura! I am not finished with this yet. I am about to leave you. In my place you shall see what looks like a TV screen. It will show you the fate of the bad guys. But much more importantly, Laura, after you see me deal with them, I shall ascend to my home in Heaven prepared for me by God. Please think about that. I want you to join me there when you die. You know what you have to do. Remember what I told you. Good-bye!"
Clint left and in his place appeared a picture of the bad guys in their truck driving rapidly down a country road heading toward the county line. Clint appears on the road in front of them. The driver panics, loses control of the truck, which veers off the road, rolls down an embankment, and splashes into the river below, killing all three men. Clint waves goodbye and ascends to Heaven.
"Are you satisfied now, Laura?"
"OK, let me take you home now. And I hope you will do what Clint asked you to do!"
September 10, 2010