Friday, July 30, 2010


D. Boone Rescued By A “Bar”

By Forrest Wayne Schultz

Few boys ever liked their name as much as Dan’l Boone did. He took great pride in being a direct descendant of THE Dan’l Boone. He loved hearing about all the exploits of his great namesake, especially the one about his famous carving:
“D. Boone Killed A Bar On This Tree”.

Dan’l loved living in the North Georgia mountains. He enjoyed hiking and camping in the large forest next to his house. Some times he went alone and other times he went with his Boy Scout troop. He eagerly learned camping lore, and he especially enjoyed first-aid, which he also learned from his Daddy, who worked for EMS. Whenever Dan’l went on one of his trips into the woods he always took with him his canteen, his first aid kit, his knife, and other Scouting supplies. His carefully followed the Boy Scout Motto: Be Prepared!!

One day when Dan’l was on a long hike deep in the woods, he heard a loud cry that sounded like an animal was hurt. When he left the trail to investigate he found a large bear in great pain from a long tough thorn in one of his paws. So, Dan’l got out his canteen and his first aid kit and went to work. The bear was very intelligent: he immediately knew what Dan’l was doing and he fully co-operated. He ceased his howling and he remained still while Dan’l extracted the thorn and applied disinfectant and balm to the wound. The bear expressed his gratitude to Dan’l by giving him a famous bear hug.

The bear lay down and took a nap to recuperate while Dan’l got out his Boy Scout knife and carved into the trunk of the big tree there these words: “D. Boone Removed A Thorn From The Paw Of A Bear Under This Tree in 2003”.

The carving was hard work and took a long time but it was fun! When Dan’l finished, he got out his canteen and took a swig of water as the bear woke up from his nap. The bear then offered one of his good paws to Dan’l and led him back to the trail.

Two years later Dan’l did a very foolish thing. He left to go on a hike in the woods without taking any supplies with him!! No first aid kit, no canteen, no compass, no knife, nothing at all!! That day Dan’l was NOT prepared! Then he added to his foolishness by wandering off of the trail.

This was a very bad day to be unprepared. For the sky was getting ever darker and the temperature was getting colder and colder until finally it began snowing very hard and soon Dan’l was not only shivering but realized he was hopelessly lost.

Then he looked and saw a strange sight. Right in front of him the Bear – Yes, the same Bear – appeared and recognized Dan’l and gave him another bear hug and then lifted him onto his back and ran through the woods all the way to Danl’s home. Dan’l was never so glad to be home in all his life!

His mother came to the door just in time to see Dan’l give the bear a goodbye/thank-you hug.

“Yes, Ma! That was THE Bear,” he said.

July 27, 2010
Children’s Fantasy

Thursday, July 1, 2010


My Meta-Mission

By Forrest Wayne Schultz

This story is super-brief, so I shall also be super-brief in explaining the “meta-“ prefix. Just as a meta-statement is a statement about another statement (rather than your typical statement, e.g. about your dog), so a meta-mission is a mission about another mission rather than your typical mission. I needed to make this distinction immediately upon my arrival on this planet because they mistakenly thought I was there for your typical salvific mission. I told them that there was no need for a salvific mission. They already had had a salvific mission. My mission was a meta-mission because it pertained to that previous mission.

The deadly danger that was threatening to kill all inhabitants of this planet HAD ALREADY BEEN CURED by the previous mission, the salvific mission, i.e. it had given them the CURE! There were two problems. First, the cure was not being administered to all inhabitants. Secondly, those who were receiving the cure were NOT taking the full dosage – they were only taking partial dosages, which did some good but did not wipe out the malady completely.

Soooo, my meta-mission was to tell them to do two things: 1. administer the cure to all instead of only some; and 2. to take the full dosage, instead of a partial dosage.

Thus endeth my meta-mission whereupon I returned to Earth but I wondered if it had done any good because there was something about those people that put me in mind of some of the weird denizens of those lands visited in days of yore by the esteemed Gulliver.

July 1, 2010
Grantville, Georgia, USA, Earth, Solar System, Galaxy, Universe


Two rings -- two purposes

By Forrest Wayne Schultz

Early this morning I received a visit from my lawyer, who informed me that I had an identical twin brother, that he required my assistance, and that in order to provide that assistance I needed to travel to his house and follow the instructions he had left for me there. All of the necessary travel arrangements had been made and there would be no need for any financial expenditure on my part and I needed to leave immediately.

As soon as the lawyer concluded his terse statement, a limousine pulled into my driveway to take me to the airport where I was booked as the sole passenger on a flight via a private luxury high-speed airplane, which also transported the limousine. The ride in the limo to the airport, the air flight, and the ride in the limo to my twin brother’s house all proceeded rapidly and without incident.

The driver unlocked the house and handed me the key, which she told me was now mine to keep. She then escorted me through the house and into the study, where she asked me to please be seated at the desk and to open the large envelope there, which contained the instructions from my brother. Before leaving she told me she would be back at _____ o’clock to take me to the airport for the return flight.

The envelope did indeed contain the instructions, which pertained to the two golden rings which were also found in the envelope, one embedded in a stiff cardboard mounting and the other loose inside a small cloth bag. Also present in the envelope was an electronic timer in countdown mode. The instructions were quite simple. When the timer had counted down to 10 seconds, I was to pick up the loose ring with the fingers of my right hand. After the countdown reached zero, I was to place this ring on top of the embedded ring.

After I followed these instructions, there were no discernible changes in the rings or the room: no poofs, bangs, sparks, shimmering air or “woo woo” sounds, such as those produced by childish mages. There was only one noticeable change: I was able to see what was happening to my twin. He had used his magic gadget to harness the energy released by the two rings to slay the super-powerful, super-wicked Lord of Darkness, but, in so doing, he himself was killed – a sacrifice he willingly made to extirpate from the Earth a very evil presence he had been fighting for the past decade.

Several minutes later, as the instructions told me would happen, my twin’s lawyer arrived and rang the doorbell. After we seated ourselves at the dining room table, he showed me the documents indicating that all of my twin’s property was actually in both of our names, and that upon his death I became the sole owner. Now I need to be frank here. Although I was astounded at the great thing my brother had done and the small but essential role I had played in it, there was something about this place that was giving me “the creeps”. Somehow the lawyer sensed this because he said that if I wished to sell the property, which was this house plus a small house down the road and the 25 acres of land on which they sat, that he knew a buyer wishing to purchase it. I was so astonished and gratified when I heard the very large amount she was offering, that I immediately said I would sell, whereupon he got out his cell phone and called his wife, a realtor, who was waiting in his car with the purchaser.

They came in and we all signed the necessary papers, which took very little time since the sale was in cash and all the papers had been made out in advance, and the only thing remaining was for me and the purchaser to sign our names at the designated places.

In the little house lived a single woman who was renting it from my twin. They had become friends and they greatly admired one another but she was very frustrated because he would not let her get close to him because he foreknew his own destiny. This I learned from her when she came to visit me right after the lawyer, realtor, and purchaser had left. (She was also a close friend of the realtor, who had told her what would happen today.)

As soon as I admitted her to the house upon her knock on the door, we were each absolutely and totally smitten with each other, and I don’t know why and I don’t care! As soon as I “popped the question”, I heard a noise where the two rings were located and found one of them shrinking in size so as to make a perfect fit on the finger of my fiancee’. The other ring perfectly fit my finger, as it had my twin. She was all packed and ready to leave, so that when the limo driver arrived, she had two passengers for the return trip, which she said she knew would happen!!!

We were married that evening at my house by a justice of the peace, who is a really great guy who had a lot of fun doing it and listening to the story of how it came about!!

July 1, 2010
Grantville, Georgia